I hope you all had a good Christmas! This year, 2017, has literally been a year of two halves for me. The first half of the year being slow and a bit none, and then the second half of the year exciting, calm and new!
So the beginning of 2017 started in a bit of a nothing sort of way. I was in a job I had almost come to loathe, which had a knock on effect about how I felt about nursing. I was still grieving my youngest starting school, which I know sounds utterly dramatic. My anxiety was starting to creep back and making me reclusive, and I was generally drifting. Also, during a moment, I deleted my blog at the beginning of the year, which I then spent months regretting!
So January and February were kind of dark months. Towards the end of February I started to chat to a few of the school Mums, and friendship came off the school yard and into every day life. This was the first chink of light and some really excellent late night chats over bottles of prosecco followed. Such good soul food! These late night chats led to me starting to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I’m in my late forties, but I think in this day and age that is still young and still believe I can have a career. After having spent many years in private nursing homes, I wondered if it was time to return to the NHS. And that’s exactly what I did.
During August I managed to get an interview and in October I started back in a local hospital. I’m not going to lie and say it’s been all plain sailing because it hasn’t. At times I still feel a bit like a square peg in a round hole, and anyone who has tried to integrate into a close-knit smallish team, will know that that itself is not without its challenges. However, all that said I AM enjoying it and it has bought me a sense of self belief that I haven’t had for quite a while!
It’s also had some other surprising side effects! Whilst for the first few weeks I had to go into battle with my anxiety daily, I now find myself rarely anxious about …anything! I think this is in part because I’m no longer working nights and throwing my body out of sync. Also I’m working more hours and therefore less time to sit and dream up doom laden scenarios! And I know this sounds a bit cliché and a bit urgh but I generally feel more at peace with myself!
So the second bit of 2017 was challenging and scary, but my god it’s been exhilarating. My youngest started into Year 1 in September, and with that there came acceptance. I think it was because I had something to look forward to myself. He’s coming on in leaps and bounds and that makes me happy as well. In fact all my boys this year have achieved good things, and I hope they continue that into next year. But that’s the next blog post! 😉
When you feel invigorated it infects your whole life. This latter half of the year I have felt a new fire in my tummy, and it’s allowed me to formulate an action plan and have energies to dedicate to areas of my life that I have long neglected. It’s also allowed me to turn my thoughts back towards my creative side and I’ve been writing again and also doing more crochet. Which is also good for the soul. I posted last week on Instagram that I have big plans, and I really do which I will of course be blogging about.
This year has shown me that as humans we need to keep moving forward. If we sit and putrefy that spreads into all aspects of our lives. So if you are in a job you hate, in a relationship that gives you nothing or generally in a situation that imprisons you then make 2018 the year you escape!